I Heart the Army Hospital

I think most of you have already heard my horrendous birth story. It was truly horrendous. We filed a complaint with the hospital. I just NOW got a response. And I'm kind of pissed about it. I don't know what I expected, but it seems like nothing will change. I heard that just recently a woman was turned away from that same hospital and gave birth in the SNOW. IN THE SNOW. Outside her house. In Alaska. In January. What is their flippin' problem at that hospital?

Here is their response (that I JUST GOT. Becca is nearly 3 months old):

Please accept my apology for this delayed response. [You assholes! How many more people have you screwed over in the last three months that you couldn't write this pitiful letter sooner? I mean, other than the lady who gave birth in the snow?]

We received your patient concern and immediately delivered copies to LTC Middelstaedt, Chief, Department of Nursing. LTC Middelstaedt informed me that she called you on December 14, 2005, and told you MAJ Garbett would look into the issue. [We're the military! We pass the buck!]

MAJ Ruth Garbett, Head Nurse, Maternal Newborn Unit (MNU), reviewed your concerns, the medical record, interviewed nurses who were on duty, made determinations, and took the following actions. MAJ Garbett found you were evaluated and treated within obstetrical standards [Cave Man Standards, but standards, nonetheless]. She noted you were found to be contracting irregularly, vaginal exam 1 cm[first she said it was 3 cm then changed her mind], negative nitrazine, and negative ferning was confirmed by a medical provider. [Right. I was told I just peed myself. Like that much urine could have fit in my peanut sized bladder at that point. Idiots!] A first time mother with such a physical exam is routinely sent home and advised to take comfort measures (warm bath, shower, rest) or Tylenol for discomfort. [HARDY HAR HAR HAR. Take two Tylenol while your baby is crowning at home and it will definitely take care of any "discomfort."] MAJ Garbett did discuss [but did not actually implement] with the nursing staff the future option of asking similar patients to walk around the hospital and return for reevaluation, especially when the patient appears to be in a great deal of discomfort. [Get ready to have tons of babies birthed in the hospital cafeteria. Still, its better than birthing in your NON DISINFECTED BATHTUB BECAUSE YOU AREN'T SUPPOSED TO TAKE BATHS AFTER YOUR WATER HAS BROKEN. Morons.]

The Head Nurse also spoke to the nurse who you alleged made the comment about “low pain threshold.” While the staff member denied making the statement [I have two other witnesses. She is also the bitch who told me "You're getting out of control" when the baby was COMING OUT and no one would believe me or perhaps give me an exam or let me into a bed and made me wait in the waiting room.....good thing MAJ Garbett totally ignored that portion of my complaint], MAJ Garbett did present her with the importance of providing patients solely with information about pain management, not opinions. [Yes. Tell them to take Tylenol while their BABY IS COMING OUT!!!That is definitely a helpful pain managament tidbit.]

The final issues MAJ Garbett addressed [because she skipped the other two-thirds of your complaint] was [the final issues was? Nice grammar. See who I'm dealing with here?] the staff member who asked the improper question regarding the rupturing of the membrane [Did you go home and have sex? Did your nurse friend break your water? Apparently only ONE of those questions was improper. Which do y'all think it was?] and not providing information immediately to you about the vaginal exam [Upon seeing the baby crowning got a horrified look on her face and said "I'm not going to tell you" when we said, "WHAT?"]. The staff member will receive written counseling regarding the importance of proper communication. [Oh. Good thing she is getting written counseling. I'm SURE that will make a whole hell of a lot of difference!]

MAJ Garbett asked that I relay her appreciation for letting her review your concerns. The goal of the MNU is to provide the very best nursing for all 5C obstetrical patients [Well, I'd say you're a definite failure there].

Therapy Corner: I thought I was over this. Until this letter arrived today. Everything turned out fine. Rebecca is happy and healthy, despite this hospital's best attempt to ensure otherwise. So, why does this make me so angry? I feel angrier now than I did at the time! Maybe I am just finally thinking about it. Before I was in the new parent fog of sleep deprivation and hormones and relief that everything turned out okay. Now? I'm just PISSED! They totally ruined my birth experience. It could have been such a good experience. I know I know...all that matters is that I have a healthy baby. But I feel like they ruined something that could have been such a joy!