On Leaving

I am starting to feel a slight amount of panic at the thought of leaving Alaska. I really really love this state. There is a sense of excitement here that I don't feel other places. There is also the sense of imminent dread and danger that each outing brings. Will I be stomped by a moose today? Will my face freeze off? Will a bear rip my left arm off?

I went around the house looking at some of my favorite Alaskan souvenirs (see the Flickr set), while shirking all my real responsibilities, such as showering, getting organized for an impending move, getting pre-approved for a mortgage loan, making sure my kid isn't playing with matches (which, coincidentally, yesterday she was. We had my boss and her family over for lunch and we just let the kids do whatever they wanted while we talked. Suddenly, my boss's 6 year old came over and said, "Becca is playing with matches." I am awesome.)

It is the time of year when it starts to warm up, the daylight returns and Alaskans start to feel a sense of mounting optimism. It won't be winter forever! The sun is high in the sky and we start to emerge from our cabins, twitching and turning our pale faces skyward. We are gradually beginning our Earthly tilt towards the Sun. The excitement of spring is in the air! Well, not exactly in the air just yet....but it is around the corner in the next four months or so.

I have been thinking of some of the things I am going to miss about Alaska:

• Hearing morning updates on the progress of the Yukon Quest sled dog race
• Living somewhere where mushing and curling are popular sports
• Living on a float pond
• Seeing moose in our driveway
• The seclusion of our house at the end of a quiet, tree-filled culdesac
• The amazing sunrises and sunsets that happen all winter
• The feeling of elation when the snow melts, the mud dries up and we know it is finally summer
• Alaskan Amber beer
• Fireweed and wild irises growing along the highway
• The peace that is palpable up here
• Fresh wild Alaska Sockeye salmon from the Copper River
• The aurora
• The natural beauty and scenery
• Cross Country Ski Trails (which I haven't used since March of 2005. Oops)

But then, then! the horrible happens. The temperature plummets as it has today. It is 30 below zero and I AM PISSED. Get me the HELL out of this DAMN STATE. My attitude is piss poor today for reasons other than the temperature. Becca is sprouting two horrendous molars simultaneously, not napping, having all kinds of fun diaper problems that involve much gagging and applying of Neosporin.

Really though, the temperature is just too annoying at this point. John and I spent about 10 minutes this morning fantasizing about going for walks in Texas in a few weeks. Walks that don't involve 20 minutes of suiting up in winter gear and then feeling your nose hairs freeze. We were wishing it was just about 50 degrees warmer (which would only be about 20 degrees, but DAMN. That would be nice.) Oh man.....nothing like a cold snap to bring out the attitude problems of people in the far North.

Things I won't miss about Alaska:

• My husband telling me to shut the curtains because I'm letting in cold air so I sit in the dark feeling angry
• $1000 a month heating bill on a $500 budget
• Being stuck inside when it is face-freezing-frigid outside
• The nasty hot springs
• Clouds of blood-thirsty mosquitoes
• The nasty Chili's restaurant that always tastes like crap and costs way too much
• The month of January
• A lack of affordable and decent restaurants
• Any temperature below zero

So, maybe it is for the best that we dip into the frigid sub-zero weather right about the time we have to leave. It might make parting just a tad bit easier.

Alas, I have to sign off for today because John has just pulled everything out of the pantry and is threatening to cook some Cream of Mushroom soup with two-year old crunchy raisins in it so that we can start getting rid of the food in the house. He just pulled all this out of the pantry and declared we need to eat it in the next week. Anyone want to come over for dinner?