Friday, March 07, 2008

Speaking of Fire Hazards

It is 2:30 a.m. and the motherfucking smoke alarm outside the bedrooms is beeping. Why do they always start this shit in the middle of the night? They are like pissy little newborns. I dragged a kitchen chair upstairs to try to change the battery and I cannot get the damn thing open. It is hard-wired to the house's electrical system, but it must have a battery backup. I can't even tell where a battery would fit. So, I checked the Internet and it said that it might have a watch battery in it. As if I have a spare one of those around, should I manage to crack that stupid thing open. Worse, every time I reach up and look up above my head, I get this intense wave of nausea, followed by sweating and the feeling I'm going to pass out.

It is dangling from the ceiling chirping its little ass off, John is out of town, and I am pissed.

10 comments:

The Quinn Report said...

SHIT KATIE! I can't believe this is fucking happening to you. I wish there was someone you could call that lives close by to help you out. WTF are you going to do?

I think you need the firefighters personal digits on hand for situations like this!

Katie said...

Well, it didn't seem to bother Becca at all. In fact, she slept about 1.5 hours longer than usual this morning, THANK GOD. So, now I'm going to get a ladder, get up there on its level and beat the CRAP out of that thing! :)

Joel and Angela said...

Hammers work really well for things like that. At least you know which one it is. We usually change all of them before figuring out that we miss the one that was making all the noise.

Feener said...

that just plain sucks

joanna said...

I think that's happened to me before. And i think the bottom of the thing twists off to let you get to the battery. Did you get it open yet? Ours here has some sort of secret compartment that slides open on the top to get to the battery so you don't have to take the thing off the wall to change it. (Oliver just showed me that). I hate beeping smoke detectors.

Andrea & Ben said...

That has to be one of the most annoying sounds EVER!!!!! Hope you got it figred out, or beat the crap out of it.

MommyK said...

Did you ever see that episode of Friends when the fire alarm won't stop beeping, so Phoebe smashes it with a hammer and throws it down the trash chute?

Katie said...

MommyK--and doesn't it just keep beeping? I have seen that one. It is enough to make a person insane!

Swistle said...

Oh, I know EXACTLY how to stop that beeping. The only tool you need is a HAMMER.

Jen said...

I HATE fire alarms. I know they are supposed to be helpful and all, but they only start to malfunction in the middle of the night, and it is damn near impossible to figure out how to open them and change the battery. I feel your pain.