Thursday, April 10, 2008

Unsettled Nerves

We've been having some struggles around here lately. We're still dealing with little Toddler Dr. Jekyll. I think she is having a growth spurt (eating everything in sight), dealing with two new molars coming in (bastards), maybe missing Canyon, dealing with some kind of cold, perhaps feeling stressed about the forced potty training last week.....and also just acting like a 2-year old. Some combination of the above has just caused me sweet little girl to turn into this bonkers kid who I can't control! Man. I always knew toddler were a pain the ass, but I didn't quite realize the extent.

When she climbed over the grocery cart seat into the back and was stepping on the groceries yesterday I felt a little "snap" inside me (this was after about twenty other openly defiant moments in the few short hours she had been awake). It was good we were in public, because I was able to quell my pregnant-no-patience-irrational-upset-ness. At least until I got home and took it out on poor John.

Thank GOD for other mothers. I talked to a few yesterday (some in my neighborhood, and Tracy) who talked me down off a ledge and assured me this is just a phase and I need to relax about it. I need to stop being so discipline-oriented for every infraction--because after the tenth non-working timeout, it seems it isn't working. I need to try to ignore more. Let it roll of my back. Redirect her. And they were right. I employed that tactic yesterday evening and suddenly life seemed okay again. I swear. I am just not a natural at this. I have to be coached, people.


Now. Onto funnier topics. I've been meaning to post this for YEARS. John's mom saved a list of recommendations for pregnant women from her doctor when she was pregnant with John in 1973. Among other hilarious things are the ones about smoking and alcohol. And, I quote:

Definite proof exists that heavy smoking decreases the birth weight of babies. It is advisable to refrain from smoking altogther during pregnancy. At least cut down to half a pack a day.

There is no danger in having a few drinks. As a matter of fact, a cocktail or two is much safer than anything else during pregnancy to "settle your nerves" or help you get to sleep.

Can you imagine a doctor today sending this out in writing? Man. I should have been pregnant in 1973. I think days like yesterday would have been a little more bearable if I knew I could have TWO cocktails in the evening to "settle my nerves."


The Quinn Report said...

I can't believe that! Oh wait, yes I can; that was the 70's for ya!

The Quinn Report said...

No wonder our parents are always trying to give us weird advice on parenting, pregnancy, etc. Things were very different for them back in the day.

Tootsie, Cookie, Captain Insano, Chainsaw and Baby Octopus said...

It's amazing that we're all alive. Truly.

Andrea & Ben said...

2 cocktails sounds pretty nice about now. I had a dream about drinks, how sad. I wish I lived in Europe where they still say cut down to one glass of wine/beer per night.
I am glad you are getting some direction with Becca. Whether or not you are a natural, each mom before you has probably asked her girlfriends, parents for advice to get them where they are today.

Tracy said...

I am SO happy you had a good evening. I am sure the evening was so much more enjoyable.

Natalie said...

I think the alcohol thing is controversial. I mean, studies can't really be done on if/when it's okay to partake. We only know that over-partaking is bad. So health care professionals just say NO NO NO. But, my mother drank a glass of wine, here and there, throughout her whole pregnancy. So did most, if not all her friends (kids all fine). I worked w/a guy who's wife had a glass of wine w/dinner, each night w/each of their five kids. All went on to have very successful careers after college. Maybe my mom, her friends and this guy and his wife all got lucky.

But, is there a higher rate of FAS and neurological disorders in children of Europe where light consumption is very common? Not from what I've heard and read (please correct me if anyone has different info).

Many midwives recommend a glass of wine/night starting at 38-weeks.

A good friend, and PA, told me that, after the first trimester a glass of wine every now and then is perfectly fine (she said something about bulk of brain development being finished..or something along that line). Her medical advice has always been dead on. She's well read and studied.

My "dirty little secret" was that, as per my PA friend's advice, I had a glass every few nights beginning in my second trimester. Is this the reason Lila didn't walk until 15-months? Doubt it. Was I ever a bit guilty? Not really. Honestly. I'm not telling you to do it, that's for sure. Just spouting off random thoughts on it. Maybe that means I do feel guilty and/or that I'm questioning advice given!?! Ha!

My suggestion: cook with it! Add a glass to marinara sauce and pretend the alcohol wasn't cooked out.

I wish Olivia responded to being directed differently. She does not. Time out's are barely starting to work. Good luck with this! Keep posting about it. Maybe someone will offer you advice that ends up working for me!

Swistle said...

I say if it's okay to have a couple of drinks to settle pregnancy nerves, it's even MORE okay to belt down a couple to deal with toddler-related issues. I swear, some afternoons, by the time I've dealt with two toddlers all day I'm about ready to take up the smoking, too.

(BTW, my OB still says a glass of wine now and then is okay during pregnancy, and he's a fretting old woman about pregnancy stuff. Don't think he'd go for the smokes, though.)

bevo said...

Katie - The reason you turned out so well was because my doctor recommended gin and tonics!!

Katie said...

I've had a few small glasses of wine during this pregnancy (like 1/4 of a glass to 1/3 of a glass) over the course of an hour with a meal. And it is enough. It tastes okay and it satisfies me, but I don't really want more than that. I am not stressing about it! I think Americans tend to get over-puritanical about everything. "If over indulging is bad, then ANY amount must be bad." That is sort of the mindset it seems....

Andrea & Ben said...

I will say my two cents. The reason the American Gov't says NO NO NO is because they have to protect us from ourselves. They have to go as far as to ban trans fast for crying out loud. Americans are such gluttons.

Jen said...

I love the cursive-nicey font it's printed in, too! It sort of sets the mood of the letter!

When you figure out how to handle your 2-year-old, call me direct. I will pay cash money to someone who can help me with their antics.

sgtsharp said...

The 70's agggh!!! I lived through it once already,some people clothing,gag,ish! let just bring back the 55 MPH speed limit. I know this had nothing to do what your talking about, but I just needed to say my 2cents.Justine did drink wine a few of time during her pregnancy,and she drank coffee every day.

Jen said...

Oh, alcohol and pregnancy! Love the topic! Must comment!

I had a small glass of wine at least 1-3x a week (after the 1st trimester) with Claire, and slightly less frequently with Kate, and both girls seem to be fine...and I don't feel guilty about it. American doctors are sued for the stupidest reasons, it's no wonder they tell you not to do anything but lay in bed during pregnancy. Sheesh.

Tootsie, Cookie, Captain Insano, Chainsaw and Baby Octopus said...

I'm in favor of the singular glass of wine every now and then during pregnancy, (and so's my dr) but the reference to "2 cocktails" still strikes me funny. At 40 weeks pregnant, (God help me) I can't imagine waltzing around the house with a mojito in each mouth just watered.