Sunday, June 08, 2008

Where's Mah Muu Muu?

Lawd have muhcy, people. I am just wiltin' in this heat. Why, a lady can't even sit a spell without likin' to keel over. I told my butlah to bring make a mint julep and it weren't even cold. A lady cannot be expected to live like this.

I need a muu muu. Where does one buy a muu muu if one doesn't happen to be on vacation in Hawaii? I'm pretty sure there is no Muu Muus and Other Shapeless Hideous Clothing Items 'R Us anywhere around here. I need some form of attire that does not touch the belly--especially not with some kind of elasticy waisted maternity torture device that works fine in the winter, but once the thermometer crosses the 95 degree mark is just nothing but misery in fabric form. In other words, all my clothes.

I have one sundress from last year in a non-breathing, slightly itchy polyester fabric that fits around my stomach. Granted, the hemline rises about two inches higher in the front than in the back, and those dumb plastic hanger holder things are always flapping out from under the arms, but it is all I can stand to wear, other than just running around in underwear and a giant T-shirt. Which, of course, is fine for when you stay inside, but when you are in desperate need of a Burger King run, is just not apropriate.

So, dammit. I guess I need to buy a few maternity items afterall. I was trying to make it through this pregnancy without buying anything new. Because, if things go right, this should be my last one. And it is only about four more months. Shit. Wait, three and a half more months. (See also: panic, denial). And I have bags of hand-me-downs from lots of formerly pregnant people with really good fashion sense and I really shouldn't need anything new. After tearing through all the bags for the fifth time and finding no muu muus, though, I guess I have to face reality. How dare my friends be pregnant during different seasons than me?

In case you are still reading and haven't just fallen over from the boredom of all this (maternity clothes! Such a fascinating subject!) you may have figure out that the bottom line of this post is that I am bitching because it is HOT. HAWT. HOTTT. We are having a horribly awful humid and nasty heat wave. It feels like Houston in August out here. And we are not acclimated. It was just a perfect 70 degrees last week! We were sleeping with the windows open. It was beautiful. I held off even turning my air conditioner on until June 6, and now it is just running continually. Sometimes I just open up the door and fling wads of cash outside to really make it official. It is really summer now.

12 comments:

MaryB said...

My heat misery would love your company if it weren't for your "delicate" state of being "with child." Givent hat fact, I'm goign to have to feel sorry for you instead of being glad that someone othher than me is suffering the darn heat.

Head yourself to Target immeadiately. Cute dresses to be had that do not touvh the belly! My oldest was born very end of August in FL so I can totally relate to your pregnant/heat misery! You have my sympathies. Find a friend with a pool STAT!

Jen said...

Oh I am so glad ours is a dry heat! When it's 110, it really does suck, but at least the humidity is reasonable (except in July). I feel for you. TOTALLY. Kate is a Sept baby, and that was the worst time to be pregnant - big and bigger all summer long! Find a pool!

Can you roll your maternity shorts down under your belly so the elastic doesn't touch it? That is what I usually did, mostly because I hate things around my waist anyway. And if you cover yourself with a pregnancy t-shirt, that should be modest enough for BK! Good luck!

MommyK said...

Head over to the nearest Joann Fabrics, buy yourself 5 yard sof the ugliest fabric you can find, then wrap it around yourself, tie it and...voila! Homemade Muu muu.

But seriously, I'm feeling for you. I'm not pregnant and I am DYING in this heat. What happened to spring? And the damn pool isn't even open yet!

The Quinn Report said...

I broke down yesterday afternoon and bought a few pieces of maternity clothes. This was a Target of all places, and the total came to $200. WHHHAT??? I only bought 2 pairs of lounging pants, 1 shirt, and one pair of dress pants. I will be taking everything back today because I feel guilty and can't bring myself to spend that much on stuff I'll only wear a few more months. Geeeeez.

Andrea & Ben said...

Man, I hate humidity, probably almost as much as I hate wind, so I feel for you. Like Jen said, we have a dry heat (it really is true) so 90+ hasn't been that bad so far.
I went to a used clothing store. I refuse to buy anything new. Ok, I bought my shorts new at mimi's because I was having trouble finding good ones. Oh and Ross, I bought some new stuff there for like $5 per shirt! That is the best pregnancy cheap store with a large variety.
Other than that I live in my bathing suit while I float in the pool.

Lysandra said...

You should try to buy a muu muu at Wal-Mart. I bought a ton of maternity stuff ages ago on e-bay. New w/tags too. Fun fun.

Tracy said...

If you could remove the heat before I return that would be great!

POOL, POOL, POOL! I hate we are at different pools.

sgtsharp said...

here in east central mn. its been between the mid 60s & mid 70s with a few days in the 80's but wetter then hell. alot of mosquitos. all that heat & your with child a hundred must feel like 200!
If you cant find a pool a kiddy pool works just fine just add ice.

ashley said...

will you be coming to austin in june or july? i have maternity clothes that you can borrow--- bathing suits, sleeveless tops, a few dresses, etc. most of my maternity clothes are for cold weather-- but i did take a trip to hawaii in october when i was pregnant, so i bought some warm weather things! they are comfortable and cute!

Meg said...

you better prepare yourself if you're coming to Austin at all...it's been 100+ with what seems like 80% humidity for most of the month. ugh....just come naked! it's austin, you'd fit in fine!

Susan said...

Just wear a toga! It's 99 degrees in Worcester and we don't have AC...

Erin said...

Ha ha! This is funny. Just last weekend, I was saying to Brett that, "Gosh, I know it's HOT, but it just doesn't feel as bad as it did last year."

It was, no kidding, like 6 hours later that I realized DUH. I was EIGHT MONTHS PREGNANT last June. Sheesh. NO WONDER.

You'll feel better next summer. In the meantime, you have absolute freedom and justification to complain about it.