The summer is just racing by way too fast. June is gone and I feel like I've already lost July. Then, will come hot, humid, nasty August at a fun 8 months pregnant, and then the next thing you know, it will be fall and we'll have a baby. My brain is too slow to keep up with all this.
I was cleaning out one of my many Monica closets this week and started sifting through baby clothes. Since we don't know if we're having a boy or girl, I just pulled out the tiny gender neutral stuff. And, damn if they aren't all nasty looking, somehow. I put all those clothes away after laundering them. And they looked clean when they went in the totes. I was meticulous about it. Now, they have gross spit up stains all over them. It obviously re-emerges later, after the clean-looking clothes have been put away. I tried re-washing them, but they didn't come clean. Does this mean I just toss them all and start over? On the one hand: Yay! Shopping for baby stuff! On the other hand: NOOOOOOOOOO! Shopping for baby stuff. Please tell me if you have any solutions. And, are you not supposed to store clothing in plastic totes? Maybe that was the problem?
So, as you can see, I am trying to pull myself out of denial and trying to get stuff done and organized before I turn into a beached, sweating whale (which I predict will happen in less than 4 weeks.) But, seriously. I am still in denial. I look at those tiny clothes and think, "Really? Again? We're doing this again?" And, then, late at night, when I'm laying awake in the guest bed from 3:30 a.m to 5:30 a.m. coughing up a lung, as I did this morning (AGAIN!) I feel the baby kicking and think, "I can't wait to meet you," and "I hope I'm not giving you shaken baby syndrome in utero by coughing violently for two hours."
On another fun subject: I have to re-audition for the choir I'm in in less than two weeks and I haven't received the music yet (it is an Italian art song) and I have the loveliest raspy, sick sounding grotesque voice right now (see also: neck glands swollen to the size of golf balls, sinus nastiness and annoying gagging dry heave cough for the last week). Due to this other human taking up residence against my lungs, I can't take a deep, normal breath. They are also cutting the chorus down from 130 to 100 people this year. I'm kind of, oh, you might say, stressing out about it. First of all, if I don't make it.....wah! But, if I do make it....how am I going to even participate with a newborn and a toddler and a husband with a variable schedule? Can I even do it? What are the chances that I'll find reliable babysitters that can handle both kids? And if nursing goes well, and the baby doesn't take a bottle like someone else I know (Becca, I'm looking at you!) then what will I do?