I am now officially full term--37 weeks-- and I can no longer put on my own socks or bend over. Becca bonks her head into my belly about 10 times a day. I bonk my belly into walls, into the water dispenser on the fridge (thus soaking the front of my shirt with ice cold water), and into the kitchen counters.
I have exactly four short-sleeved shirts that cover this protrusion. Let me tell you about them and all their spectacular beauty. One is brown. It is long enough, but is overly tight and is stained with what looks to be grease splatters (damn bacon). One is white and barely long enough and it has a hole in the front of it. Another is white and is all pilled and stretched and stained. The final shirt is purple and has some kind of bleach spot stain on it. That is it. That is all I have to cover my belly. And I'll be damned if I'm going to buy any more.
So, aside from the joy of doing laundry every day (because at every meal I drop something on my belly and then have to change out of one stained shirt and into another) I get to look like a rather bloated street person. I currently have a mustard stain on the front of my borderline-too-short-holey-white shirt.
You should have seen my outfit that I wore to the grocery store today. Non-maternity yoga capris that sit way down below my belly and threaten to fall down every 5 minutes. The white, stained T shirt that barely covers my belly, so every time I move, a good 3 inches of white veiny skin is visible to everyone--and probably the top of my underwear for all I know, but I can't see it, so I am not sure about that. Tall white socks and tennis shoes because my feet hurt so badly I can't wear flip flops for more than about an hour.
I am looking hot, people. HAWT! I feel people starting to stare at me too. I got a few aghast-looking second looks in the grocery store as I sported my underwear and belly-baring ensemble and frantically yanked my pants up and shirt down every 12 seconds. Oh, and you should have seen my ankles when I removed the socks.....let's just say the socks left dents in my legs about half an inch deep. Purrrrrrrrrrrrty.
While pregnant, I do not eat healthfully since I embrace pregnancy as a the one time in your life to indulge (see also: cankles). Go ahead and gain those 50+ pounds! Everyone loves feeding a pregnant woman. No one looks at you when you are stuffing your face full of junk food. But, 5 minutes after that baby is out? You're done. Judgement returns. Forever. And since I am depriving myself of so many other things (lung capacity, adult beverages, sleeping on my back, Advil, for pete's sake) I feel like food is the great indulgence I am allowed. Well, that and sitting on my butt being completely lazy. So, I buy the Little Debbie's and the ice cream and the Cheetos (ummmm....Cheetos...wish I had bought some today) and the full fat cream cheese. BRING IT ON! Of course, this probably brought me directly to my current problem of having nothing to wear, but....oh...it has been worth it.
All that aside, I am obsessed with finding a healthy banana bread recipe. Probably to ease my guilt after eating the entire loaf in one sitting. I went on the Great Banana Bread Kick of 2007 last fall and I guess seeing the calendar page turn over to fall it is continuing. So, in case you are interested, here is the best healthy recipe I have found. I adapted it from one found in the Baltimore Sun, and they got it from recipezaar.com. I have changed it up a little. It makes two loaves and you only have to dirty one bowl--which is always good.
Whole Wheat Banana Bread
1/3 cup canola oil
1/3 cup unsweetened applesauce
1/2 cup honey
3 teaspoons vanilla extract
5 ripe bananas, mashed
2 cups whole wheat flour
1 1/2 cups white flour (the original recipe only called for whole wheat, but I wanted some white flour in there)
1 tsp baking powder
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp salt
1/2 tsp ground nutmeg
2 tsp baking soda
1/2 cup hot water
1 1/2 cups chopped pecans
Preheat oven to 325 degrees. In a large bowl, thoroughly combine oil, applesauce, honey and vanilla. Add eggs and beat well. Stir in bananas. Add flour, baking powder, cinnamon, sugar, sald and nutmeg, stirring gently to combine.
Add baking soda to hot water (it fizzes and delights any toddlers who are "helping"!) Stir to mix, then add to batter. Blend in pecans. Stir just until smooth.
Pour batter into 2 greased standard size loaf pans. Bake for 60 mionutes or until knife inserted in cetner comes out clean. Allow to cool for about 5 or 10 minutes, then wrap up in saran wrap and leave overnight (that is Lysandra's trick that I have adopted--it traps the condensation that translates to very moist bread the next day!!)
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