Sunday, September 14, 2008

How I spent my weekend....

I have been extremely twitchy this weekend. Twitchy and yet feeling so blah that I can't function. I wanted to just sit still and lounge around and be all relaxed and have quality time with Becca. And, instead I tried to sit down and just felt like either crying or sleeping or getting up and doing something, but when I got up to do something I didn't have enough energy and my pelvis hurt and my feet hurt and my ankles hurt, so I just sat back down and TWITCHED. I feel like I'm about to crawl out of my skin! I can't even nap. I just lay there and stare at one of the 34 pillows surrounding me. My eyes won't shut, despite getting very little sleep at night.

And I'm feeling guilty about not doing more fun things with Becca and letting her watch too much TV and not taking full advantage of these last few weeks of her being my only child. I feel like I'm failing her and her world is about to turn upside down and I can't even get enough energy to take her to a playground. I have run out of steam.

I finished my book the other day, and have read every other book in the house and can't find anything that will keep my mind from just racing in circles. I can't even read a magazine article without feeling like I'm about to jump out of my own body. WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?

So,that is the latest update from Woe Is Me Central. Please send tranquilizers and a live-in maid at your earliest convenience. Thank you.

12 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi,I read you everyday but have never commented before. I'd say it sounds like you are ready for that baby to come. At the end of both my pregnancies I always thought if I was going to be up all night I might as well be feeding a baby. P.S.( I love your new background).

joanna said...

The good thing is that Becca won't think you didn't spend enough time with her before the baby came - wish I had a book recommendation for you. Have you ever read Watership Down?

Meg said...

God, guilt sucks, doesn't it? It ruins everything! And the ironic part is, if you actually were spending "quality time" with Becca, you would be miserable thinking about how many other things you need to be doing and/or she would be miserable wanting to play with her friends or something, right? At least that's how it seems to work in my world! I think you need some well deserved wine! But that's always my solution for everything. Maybe you and Becca could have a mommy and me wine tasting or something. Seriously, the best advice I've ever gotten about guilt with regards to kids...fair doesn't mean everyone getting the same, it means everyone getting WHAT THEY NEED....or something along those lines. At any rate, good to file in your mental rolodex to use later if not now. xxxooo

The Quinn Report said...

I suffer feeling guilty every single day of my life! I am my harshest critic and constantly think I could be doing more in all aspects of my life. I can definitely sympathize with you! Don't feel bad, you have a lot going on right now!

bevo said...

Yup! This is exactly what you were saying just hours before you went into labor with Becca!

sgtsharp said...

I still can't get over your new background. Also make sure you have a new toy for Becca that the new baby brought for Becca.We did that for Sarah we got her a American Girl doll Bitybaby. I remember breastfeeding her new doll,she was 3 at the time.

sgtsharp said...

I still can't get over your new background. Also make sure you have a new toy for Becca that the new baby brought for Becca.We did that for Sarah we got her a American Girl doll Bitybaby. I remember breastfeeding her new doll,she was 3 at the time.

Andrea and Ben said...

Love the new format. Did you do it yourself? I got nothing on the feeling guilty, got to get more done problem. That is definitely the story of my life!

Andrea and Ben said...

Nevermind on the background, I just saw the link and am going browsing asap!!

Joel and Angela said...

There is absolutely NOTHING wrong with you! Give yourself a break and realize you need a little "calm before the storm"! I guarantee that Becca is not moping around thinking that Mommy is not spending enough time with her. You do a great job doing fun things with her on a regular basis. REST REST REST!!!! If you feel like you need to be doing something with her, a book is always good. When the baby comes, it will sleep most of the time (hopefully) and you will still be able to do things with Becca. The good thing about having guilt is that it means you are a great mom!

Swistle said...

My guess is END OF PREGNANCY. I'm still rooting for the 18th, baby!

Cheryl said...

I agree with the rest. Sounds like you're about due. 2 good books though:
Ahab's Wife-Star Gazer (thought of you while reading it and meant to recommend it when I was done)
The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Society (just finished this one)
Anyhoo, hang in there. Awaiting the news!