Saturday, October 04, 2008

On My Own.... *Update at bottom*

Day One: So far so good on my own with two. Granted, it isn't even 9 a.m. yet, but Andrew is still sleeping in my bed and I was able to get up with Becca and get her breakfast and my coffee. She is now watching TV and I'm blogging. SCORE!

I just can't believe how much more....stable I am this time around. I tossed out the flowers John's squadron sent after Andrew was born. My mom watched me wide-eyed with horror. "What?" I asked her. " Don't you remember what happened when the flowers you got for Becca's birth died?" she asked. I had forgotten, but apparently, I bawled my eyes out that the flowers had died. I sobbed that it meant Becca was no longer a tiny newborn.

Then, I dropped my mom off at the airport last night. And though I felt like crying, I didn't. Instead I proceeded directly to McDonald's for a consolation Quarter Pounder with cheese. When she left Alaska when Becca was a couple weeks old, I sobbed harder than I have ever sobbed in my life, I think.

Before I get too cocky and all "Oh, having two is just so easy and I am supermom," I should probably see how the rest of the day goes. After all, the little one is still sleeping. I haven't been peed on yet and I haven't attempted to get a certain stubborn toddler's shoes on her while the baby needs to nurse.

So, about that sleep thing. Andrew is rather uncooperative at night. He will not sleep away from my body except during the day. (He is currently snoozing away in my bed all by himself!) But at night, I will feed him and get him in a completely deep sleep. I heat up the bassinet with a heating pad, then gently lay his swaddled butt on his side between the sleep positioner wedges. I back up very slowly and lay down in bed. Then, two seconds later, "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

I have to start the process over. Except the second time I just hold him or let him sleep spooned alongside me. Because I'll be damned if I'm going to stay up all night trying to coax him to sleep when we can both just conk out together.


All was going well until Becca only napped for one hour. ONE. ONE!!!! After I made her take a death march up to the school playground in the morning. We were outside! Exercising! In the fresh air. How did she not nap? That is so unacceptable. I guess it is better than nothing, but I had just settled down and gotten Andrew settled and latched on after he pooped through three diapers as soon as I put them on him (again, I am finding changing a boy's diaper to be an exercise in futility. No matter what I do I get peed upon and end up with poop all over everything). We had just fallen asleep--I was completely exhausted by the all night sceam fest coupled with a death march with two kids to the playground) when...."MAMA! MAMA! MAMA!" jarred me awake. I don't know how I can explain to her that she absolutely has to be quiet and silent in her bed for at least 2 hours every day or mommy is going to lose it. She actually woke up in a fine mood which is the only thing that saved the day.


Marie Green said...

Oh, I totally hear you about having your shit together the 2nd time around- sounds like we were the same the first time around too! Isn't it great to be so much more relaxed this time? Ahhhhh.

Also, just wanted to tell you that I slept with my 3rd (2nd pregnancy) baby pretty much exclusively for the first 6 months. When I decided it was time for her to sleep in her own crib/room, she did so without any problems. Just thought you'd like to hear a co-sleeping success story- one where the baby didn't grow into a 6 foot teenager all while snuggled up beside me. =)

Hope it continues to go well!

Tracy said...

Look at you go. You have more acomplished by nine with an infant and a toddler than I do with mine and mine are getting super easy. You rock. Have a great day.

The Quinn Report said...

Have you heard of the Duggar Family? I have to keep reminding myself that if Michelle (the mom), can raise 18 kids, I think I'll be able to manage 2! THEY ARE CRAZY, and they want even more! She even homeschooles every single one of them.....she never gets a break from her kids! NO THANK YOU!

Glad to hear all is going well for you!

MommyK said...

When Maureen was a newborn, she did the same sleep thing. So we slept with her in our bed for awhile because she wanted to breastfeed every 32 minutes and it was the only way I got any sleep. At 8 weeks, we transitioned her to the crib, and having my rocking chair close made all the difference. If I fed her downstairs, then tried to carry her up the stairs, down the hall and into the bedroom, she would always wake up.

Cute picture, he is such a doll!

Jen said...

Mason slept with us for the first couple months too. I tried the heating pad trick but it only worked until everything cooled off. He likes to be warm. He's almost a year and he sill sleeps in jammies and a baby "bag" to keep him warm along with 2 knit blankets. Get a sling for day time, it was a lifesaver for me and Blake because he got what he wanted NOW!

By the way, CONGRATULATIONS!! He is beautiful. I check on you daily but the little fingers trying to rip the laptop off my lap don't let me do fun things like comment!

Natalie said...

I co-slept with each my kids until 5-months. Similar experience to Marie Green. Just do what works now and it'll all come together nicely.

I'm so happy to read things are so great so far! The second one didn't stress me out too much at all. I'm a baby person all the way and had the hourly care option for Liv a few times a week (read: drop Liv off and go back home to sleep w/baby all morning). By six weeks, I was doing FAME (the work out program w/childcare at Wainwright) three days a week and Lila did great w/o me for an hour or two. The whole newborn phase went by so quickly! I barely remember it and I think that's b/c it was a breeze (I think we only remember the really really bad stuff)!!

Grammy Bonnie said...

OK. Here's the scoop from the old folks: Tell Becca she can get up when the clock says "3:30" or whatever. If she wakes up before then, have her bed filled with books, or finger puppet princesses all in various shades of pink, or Cheerios, or M and M's. . . .whatever it takes. Call it "Quiet Time" instead of nap. If her door opens before the assigned time. . . .hmmmmm, well you'll think of something!

molly said...

Big up to my Kates!!! I hope your shit-togetherness rubs off on me.

Tracy said...

Way to go on your first full day being a mother of two. Honey, I am feeling the short nap thing. I know on those days I probably came across like Mommy Dearest. Regularly scheduled naps are regularly scheduled for a REASON. Someone must get the memo to Becca. Maybe Cait can talk some sense into her! Or, Madison seems to be VERY fluent in Caitense, Maybe she is is fluent in Beccanese and can get through to her how crucial it is for moms sanity!

Are we doing after church or after nap tomorrow?

Jen said...

Whooo boy. Two is tough. From my experience, it gets easier and harder and then easier and then harder. I am waiting for it just to be easy. Hopefully the fact that your children are further apart in age will help in a few months, but those first months of newbornness (however adorable) are just hard! The lack of sleep! The demands from children! The husband who isn't home enough!

It will get better, especially after you get into a routine, which is bound to happen sooner or later =)

Do you have a gate on Becca's door? My room is far enough away from Kate's that even if she is somewhat loud, I can't hear her well over the fan going in my room. That allows for better naps for me. She used to fight it, but now she just plays in her room with her gazillion toys until I let her out. Maybe this will work for you?

And continuing with unsolicited advice, the best thing ever for me when the kiddos were under 4mo, was the book Babywise. A lot of my friends and family have used it, and I haven't met anyone who has followed the advice that has had a problem getting their child to sleep on their own in their own crib. Because I followed it religiously, both girls slept through the night by the time they were 4mo. Just a thought.

Angie said...

I am of the mind of "whatever works." Ashlyn slept with me totally for the first 6 weeks, and then she started sleeping a bit in her bed, until she was eventually sleeping on her own at 6 months. Christopher slept with me for 3 weeks, but slept better on his own. So be it, he's been in his own bed since then.