Saturday, December 13, 2008

Christmas Card Photos

Merry Christmas from The Awkwards

I think my baby's neck is broken
Pissy Toddler. Enough said.

Yum. Baby spit up.

Oh lordy. Lordy. Lordy. Lordy. Someone put me out of my misery. John, Mr. We-All-Have-to-Be-In-the-Card, approved a photo. Here is the unedited version. (I just right clicked off the online website, so there are weird white bars on both sides. Don't know why).Then, I spent two hours doing photo editing, cropping, skin softening, eye sharpening, you name it and give me a headache while you're at it. I had 150 cards printed out from my favorite online photo place. John took one look at it and declared it hideous. He didn't have his glasses on when he "approved" it. And, somehow, it came out with weird colors that look nothing like what I saw on my screen. We are all very red. And Becca isn't looking at the camera for the second year in a row. And her smile is very fakey. John is doing something weird with his eyes. And it is just an awkward pose. You can't tell how red it printed out, but it is RED. Andrew's face looks bright pink in the final paper copy.

After HATING these cards and being unable to mail them out because of The Hatred, I called the company to complain about the colors and why we all look SO freaking RED. Apparently, they have some automatic "vivid pic" thing that changes your photos and makes them hideous! Automatic!! How jacked up. I spent hours photo-editing to get the colors the way I want them. I don't want your stupid-ass, cheap automated service changing shit! So, they are letting me get all new cards (different photo, different card, different everything) for free. So, that rules.

I chose a different photo. One that is more natural of John. Fairly cute of Andrew. Okay of Becca (if you discount her giant costume jewellry necklace, weird smile and dead carnation) and GROSS of me. I have about ten chins in the photo. And I didn't edit it. I don't have time to do this shit twice! Something that was once fun is turning into the biggest pain in the ass. But, I will not stop. Oh no. Every year we will send out an awkward-looking photo if it kills me. And it just might.
Final Score
Christmas Cards: 1
Katie: 0

8 comments:

Angie said...

I would have sent out the picture with just the kids, but that's what I do anyway. Thank goodness noone is insisting to me that we need a photo of the whole family. Could you send out a collage of each of you separately at least? I realize that you've already ordered, but for next year?

Angie said...

Oh, but I do think it was good that you did this before kids. Before Ashlyn, I rarely sent out cards, and when I did they were handmade, no photos. We really didn't take very many photos of ourselves before kids. Kind of missed out on our twenties that way.

And, you don't look GROSS in your photo at all.

Tracy said...

You are always your worst critic. I think that is a very good picture of you all. At least you get some with John in it. Randy, not so much.

Jen said...

You named all my reasons and more of why we did not get a photo card this year! I can't believe all that you went through. I'm sure everyone will love them, and you'll have it for your Christmas card book. Good on you for not skipping a year even when you have a newborn and it must have been so hard to get everyone looking perfect in the same picture.

Swistle said...

HA HA HA HA HA! This is so agonizingly funny!

Back when I was a child, a friend of my mom's decided she NEVER looked good in photos. So she had ONE she liked, and she got a whole bunch of copies made, and she cut out her face and posted it on every picture she thought she looked awful in. It got to be such a funny joke.

Joel and Angela said...

I like the one you picked! I think everyone looks really good in it. We just did Christmas photos yesterday and I put my order in at Costco. It is weird how we always get a better picture when NO ONE is behind the camera!!! I hope to post later. Getting little time these days....and no...I am not on facebook as much either.

The Quinn Report said...

I love it!

Oh, and Salem's word of choice is SHIT...I'm right there with ya!

susan said...

One of your old friends sent a Christmas card to Mom and Dad and it was so perfect I almost threw it away because it looked like junk.

I think you should take a new picture that would be a staged reenactment of the nativity scene. Andrew would be Jesus, you would be Mary, John would be Joseph and Becca could be the Star.