Saturday, January 10, 2009

Tales of the Widly Vascillating

Oy vey. People.

This is like a bad episode of "Housewives of Suburbia." Oh gee. I just don't know what to do. Buy a new SUV or a new diamond necklace. Life is so hard. I mean, should I get a nanny or a personal chef? I just don't know which would be better. Those lucky people in Eithiopia. They don't have to make such hard decisions.

I want to punch myself in the face for continuing to talk about this, but here goes....

So, I am over this whole decorating dilemma. I was all gung-ho earlier. And I loved all your comments. Y'all are so SMART. I loved Jen's idea of switching the furniture in the two rooms. And so I spent half the day ignorning my children and moving the furniture. By myself. Because I knew if I waited for John to come home, he would veto the idea outright (...every party has a pooper. Hi, honey!) And I just had to see how it would look. Except this couch wouldn't fit through the doorway. So I took one little foot-thing off. And it was so hard to get it off, I didn't take the other three off. And I left the couch on its side in the hallway blocking the stairs all day.

And it looked like this.
But I got the other furniture switched. It looked like this. Bring up the flat screen from the basement, add an occasional chair (subtract the bookshelves) and voila! Problems solved. I sat down and heaved a sigh of relief. Great! I'll get new wood floor in the back of the house AND have enough seating in the grownup hangout area.

And then John came home. And said those couches are way too gross and trashed, and if we didn't do that room right, we shouldn't do it at all. I thought about the pee and the Sharpie marker and the lollipops and apple juice and barf embedded in those cushions. And decided he was right. I also stood up and Lysoled myself immediately. Then I called the CDC and asked for a contaminant team to be dispatched to my house STAT.

Then John got annoyed that I took the foot-thing off the couch. Because we couldn't get it back on. (Always fun living with me!) So, then we tried moving all the furniture back and ended up gouging the shit out of the existing wood floor. And hurting my back. "Just pick it up!" my big six-foot-two man said, lifting his end like it was a cotton ball. I'd already moved all that stuff by myself by SLIDING it on blankets across the floors. No lifting involved. Lifting and I don't mix. Especially after I'd been to the gym today as well. Ow.

Then I started thinking about Meg's comment about buying new couches in a different shade and how that made no sense because you KNOW the kids will be all over it. With their snots. And their half-masticated Laffy Taffy. God. Again. I feel like sucker punching myself for rabbiting on like this, but I give you exhibit A: Toys on the couch the minute I moved it out of the play room. So, ummm....you're right. That makes no sense.
I'm Done.

I'm going to get the wood floors in the kitchen and family room and get rid of the hideous black linoleum and country railing. Screw the adult hang-out room. We can just sit on the pretty new floor and pretend it is comfy furniture.

16 comments:

sgtsharp said...

I dont see any saw dust? wheres the Chain saw?? I guess I have to bring mine there.

Angie said...

After you get nice pretty floors, think about getting leather furniture. I was against it, mostly because I thought it wasn't comfortable. I really don't like it in cars, it's either burning your legs or freezing, unless you have a seat warmer. Our furniture is nothing like that, plus snot, spit-up, dog hair, crackers, etc all just wipe away.

Angie said...

Ok, and couldn't you still bring up the tv and have that as a hang-out room without the changed furniture? Is there that much less seating?

Katie said...

Uncle Jim--no chainsaw yet. We don't actually own one. I would love to slice into that guard rail though! :)

Katie said...

Angie...there's enough seating for about three people. But so often we have two or more guests/family etc. and once you add any more than one person to our group, there isn't a room in the house for people to comfortably hang out it! If you combined all the couches from around the house, there is plenty of seating...just not in the same room! :)

Also--leather. I've heard that it is great for kids and dogs (unless they puncture it). I just don't like slipping around on it. But it is something for us to consider, for sure!

Bevo said...

Why do you have to get rid of the bookshelves? Where would you put all the books? Can you actually get rid of books? We just buy more bookshelves...

Katie said...

Bevo, I mean MOVE the bookshelves. To other rooms. And buy some more while we're at it...

Jen said...

Oh no! Stuck furniture, and a husband coming home before it's fixed. UGH.

Have you thought about having Stanley Steemer clean your sofas? I don't know if you think it would work, but I've always been happy with their carpet cleaning services.

Also, I forgot one thing about La-Z-Boy, in case you are ever going to get furniture from them. They offer (or at least they used to) a free design service where a designer will come to your house and tell you where to put things and where to hang pictures and WHAT COLOR PAINT to use on your walls. I used this service last summer and I swear I will be so sad to have to move from here because I love the layout and color of my walls.

sgtsharp said...

Leather Seats are great in a car/truck, there easy for wiping up spills and shit.
A little electric chain saw will work for taking out guard rails, walls another asst shit. :D
I've taken off sofapad covers and I've washed them in the wash with no problems. Save some money let Stanley Streamer go some place else. Toot toot !!

The Peregos said...

I would skip the diamonds and SUV and go for a part-time nanny and part-time house cleaner. Okay, I'll watch my kids, just a house cleaner! I loved the moved/stuck furniture shot...I would have moved it all solo too and Ugo would have had a fit too. I have little decorating sense but do appreciate everyone elses insightful comments. ;)

Erin said...

New wood floors! DELICIOUS. Who cares about furniture. I LOVE WOOD FLOORS.

Sorry about all the furniture dragging!

The Peregos said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Peregos said...

Thanks Katie for your great example... Jenna moved everything EVERYTHING around the house today including the piano!!!

And what's up with eIthiopia??? Where in the world is that???? :)
Ugo

Swistle said...

This is SO FUNNY. Periodically Paul and have a conversation about what we ought to do with the house, and then we think of the children, and then there's a long pause, and then Paul says, "After they all leave home, we'll tear the whole place down and start over."

Angela said...

Katie, Do you hate the guard rail because it is ugly or because it is there? Paint it! I love to paint ugly stuff to make it look better. Easier and cheaper. And Joel could sit and talk for hours to John about all the things he comes home to. Makes coming home exciting and interesting.

Anonymous said...

Seems to me you need to decide which room is going to be the adults (no juice boxes/ toys/ cheerios)sitting room. They used to call this a parlor and didn't allow children in there unless on their best Sunday behavior. Then you have another room -- what we used to call the rumpus room -- for the kids to play in. Isn't that what you have in the basement? You can put the second hand sofa and stained carpet in that room. The current "family room" could be a library and/or office (for quiet reading or homework, perhaps). By the way, if you're worried about germs and stains, buy a sofa cover that can be taken off and washed every month (or week).
Love,
(Great) Aunt Linda