Wednesday, March 25, 2009

There's Something About Daddy

The minute John walks in the door from a trip, Becca's demeanor completely changes. The whining gets better, the irrational crying diminishes, she is full of smiles and giggles. She starts showing off. She goes to the basement by herself and plays (which never, never, EVERRRRR happens when he isn't here). She doesn't beg for a movie. She doesn't beg anyone to go with her or play with her. Then, of course, she sleeps all through the night without crying once. She puts her shoes on happily and puts her coat on without running away and collapsing on the floor.

I feel like I live a bit of a schizophrenic life. We have one dynamic when he's gone and a completely different (and better one) when he's home. I look at my friends who have husbands who work regular hours. They have a rhythm to their lives that we definitely don't have. For them, every Friday night is exciting. The weekend is here! For us, every week is different, every weekend is different. Sometimes he is here on Fridays, sometimes he isn't. His schedule is constantly changing. He will pick up and drop trips the day before. And it really doesn't matter all that much. There are some great benefits to our lifestyle. I love that he can take Becca to school most Tuesdays. And I love that we go do our family things during the week when things aren't crowded. But, I do feel like I need to get myself on some kind of "life rhythm."

I know. I sound like I'm about to talk about auras and chakras. But I do feel rather disjointed. I have tried to schedule my week and then to just work John into it when he is home. I made out a schedule of chores and errands. Library and cleaning bathrooms on Monday, etc. But it doesn't really work because if he's here I don't want to take Becca to the library when she could be going on a walk with her dad. Or, I don't want to spend my evening cleaning the bathrooms when I could be watching a movie with John.

I just long for a sense of order that I don't have. But I have a feeling it is senseless to pine after order when you have two little ones. I'm not complaining. I actually prefer this life to our former Active Duty life. I am just trying to figure out a way to get into the flow of things. Or, maybe I just need to adjust to the non-flowing lifestlye and go with that. Just go with the flow as they say, instead of imposing a new flow on life. I don't know.I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. Oh look! Purple unicorns....

Anyway, Super Dad is taking Becca out today on a daddy/daughter day. I am always so torn between wanting to go with them and wanting some hours to be "alone" (if you count having a 6 month old with you alone, which I guess I do.) I need to quit blogging and start mopping.

So, tell me. Do you schedule your week? Do you do certain chores and errands on certain days? Or are you like me and just fly by the seat of your pants most of the time, feeling like you have no grip on your life?

9 comments:

Jen said...

Our life is like your life. A cleaning schedule would help. But I hate to clean when Chris is home. A laundary schedule would be nice too, but I'm always waiting for white shirts to come home to be cleaned.

Tracy said...

I try and get as much done when Randy is gone. I do have a schedule and for the most part, we have to follow it. But the extra stuff that we COULD do, I leave them out and only do them when Randy isn't around.. I have found that I have a split life..Once I embraced that, my life seems calmer.(hey,I didn't say a split personality!, just a split life!) YOu are still in that tough baby phase. Becca is trying to find her way and I am SURE she sees how happy you are when he is around. That to me is actually a good thing and it is showing Becca what an plus it is to have john around and how great "family" is. It gets easier. Get a schedule together assuming he isn't there. Have it displayed where you can see it and when he is home, do whatever you like and rejoin the schedule in progress when he leaves. (whew, can you say long winded?and the sad part, I even cut some out!)

Andrea_Ben said...

I have considered this - http://www.motivatedmoms.com/products.html

One of my tutors also mentioned she writes chores on her mirror with dry erase marker. I think I may be more motivated to do something versus blog/facebook if it is written on my mirror.

Swistle said...

I'm a pantser. Things get automatically a little more regimented when kids start going to school---but because I have two in school and three at home, it actually adds more chaos.

The Quinn Report said...

I do schedule my weeks out, and I only plan 1 outing a day (besides the gym.) I try to stress myself out as least as possible, and that isn't feasible if I've over booked myself!

Jen said...

I can't imagine living the life you are living right now. In some ways I think it would be easier, but in so many ways I think I would tear my hair out! Mothering 2 children for several days without a break! But I guess it's good knowing John is unlikely to deploy. Tradeoffs, huh? I have not answered any of your questions, have I? Um, Even though our lives are pretty different, we do have SOME things planned out, like school (duh). Other than that, I try to organize at least one other morning where we go to someone's house or they come over here so the kids can play and the moms can talk. Of course, all this will go out the window next week. I am SUCH a big help.

Ann said...

Schedule? What schedule? We had a good schedule going last semester but then my class schedule changed and now I have a stupid evening class so on Tuesdays and Thursdays I get home so late nothing gets done and by Wednesday the house is a disaster. We usually spend Saturday morning frantically cleaning and hope we do better next week. We'll see how it goes when I'm home with the kids this summer. I even have a schedule but it usually hangs on the fridge, ignored. Oh well.

sgtsharp said...

A schedule whats are you smoking & will you share?
I have a work schedule too, nights days most weekends. But I only work 3 blocks from home

Dad said...

Aren't dads great!!