There's an ant in your ice cream? Oh well. Gobble it up and stop whining about it.
How did this Craisin get in my bra?
Please do not throw that toilet paper at me.
Do you have barf in your hair? Then, please, do not chew on it.
Who scattered these tampons all over the bathroom?
Do you have poop on your ankle again?
No. That isn't money. That's a beer bottle top. (But, damn...wouldn't that be awesome?)
You do not speak to your mother that way! (Spoken exactly as my mom used to say it to me)
3 hours ago