Sunday, June 21, 2009

All the Small Things

My everyday diaper bag starts collecting so much crap and trash and extra stuff that it weighs too much. It slowly fills with toys, sippy cups, papers, grocery lists, food wrappers, empty ziploc bags (Why? Why the ten million ziplocs in there? Do they multiply when I'm sleeping?) and the bottles of sunscreen and baby hats and granola bars that I keep tossing in there. So, I just grab the big ol' bag and tote it everywhere until it starts being too trashy for me to deal with. Like this.
So, then instead of cleaning it out when I'm rushing out the door, I just grab a new, empty bag--from my giant stash-- and take out only what I need from the heavy bag and transfer it to the new one. Then, I don't get around to cleaning out the heavy, trashy one and start using the new one for a while. Until it gets all trashy and full of extra crap. So, then I have to grab a different empty one and transfer the necessities. And so it goes. Until I'm left with a dining room table full of bags and purses of differing fullnesses.
Let's see what wonderful things these bags contain, shall we?

Bug spray (all natural and STANKY as all hell) and sunscreen. Gee, can you tell I'm Norwegian?
Ziploc bags--four gallon size, one quart size, and two sandwich size. And gross apples. Anti-bacterial germaphobe freak-out products
And, last but not least (in fact, last but MOST), trash and recyclables
Not pictured: the two diapers and one small wipes container that a diaper bag should actually contain. Because where were those? In the trunk of the car, of course. No where near a diaper bag.

Also not pictured: all the food I usually carry around with me. Because I ate it.

Here is my favorite everyday diaper bag.
It is actually a reusable shopping grocery bag from blueavocado (it is the pak bag), a Christmas gift from David and Tara. It is HUGE. And I love it more than any "diaper" bag I've ever used. And I've used a few in day, including, but not limited to these. I get all goose-bumpy just looking at all these bags. All the compartments and zippers and pockets and variety of size and strap-length. God, I love bags. You Korea ladies will recognize some of these. I often dream at night that I'm back in Korea again... purse shopping. I'll wake up with the vision of the most perfect bag and feel so crushed when I realize I don't have it.

*SNAP OUT OF IT, YOU FREAK!* Anyway, I think the reason the Blue Avocado bag has been the best, is since it is so large, it takes a good long while before it completely fills up with trash. Plus, it has tote bag handles, which are 5 million times better than backpack styles or messenger bag styles. Because you can be holding a baby and still just drop stuff in it without having to take the bag off your shoulder or open or close the bag! Plus, it has room to shove in a winter jacket or wet towel or baby hippo. In essence, the lazy parent's ideal diaper bag.

During this oh-so-fascinating, in-depth documentary on the amount of landfill space I'm saving by carrying my trash with me, I did end up cleaning it out.
And now I'm going to go lick my purses and call them My Precioussssssses.


Anonymous said...

Your obsession with purses must be genetic -- your purse-selling ancestors must be proud of your purse-buying mania. (Insert smiley face here.)
(Great) Aunt Linda

lisa said...

Ah, you're the best. I wanted to buy a nice coach bag (I dont know if you were around when I wrote that post) and my mom assured me I'd be sorry. So she sent me some black diaperish bag from Target. It worked ok until it just became a big trash hole. And then I wondered why I even bothered with a diaper bag. I tote around a 45 pound bag & look like Im some sort of homeless mom that schleps her entire life in her quasi-lame Target bag. Im never that far from home/car anyway and if I am I bring what I need (a baggie of cheerios, a diaper and wipes. Thats it.) I treated myself to a new Coach purse (which has now been christened with pen and some grease smear) and just keep the diaper bag in the car. Speaking of car......thats the real disaster in my life. You just gave me a great blog post idea.

The changing purses thing cracks me up.

Natalie said...

I do the same thing with my bags. You're too funny!

Jen said...

Baby hippo. Ha!

Is that a red Kate Spade diaper bag I see there? That's the one I used for both the girls. Now I have one that is sort of a pain in the ass to get into. I like the idea of tote handles. Brilliant.

Andrea_Ben said...

It is like the "Monica Closet" for purses. Looks nice and pretty from the outside, but dig around a little!!! I love that you put this out there for the rest of us to enjoy :0)

Angie said...

What I find hilarious is that you love the GIANT bag when you are such a tiny person. I don't like large bags for the most part. I want the smallest bag possible.