Friday, June 19, 2009

Floundering, Suddenly

Do you ever feel like your shit is out in the street?

I do. Occasionally.

(Or, maybe often.)

I feel like I am so far behind. I'm forgetting things left and right. I'm distracted by everything. I want to take advantage of everything summer has to offer and so I'm running around. I want to work out. I *should* take a shower every day. I need to make sure the kids are taken care of and also that someone plays with them occasionally. The bills, the cleaning, the shopping, the cooking, the weeding, the house maintenance, the social stuff, the laundry (dear GOD the laundry), the swimming, the gymnastics, the filthy car, the piles of paperwork accumulating everywhere, the travelling.

I'm dropping the ball here, people. I feel like I can't ever get anything done. But then, when I do have a few moments to myself to do stuff, doing stuff is the very last thing I want to do. Then I start wondering if maybe I do this to myself on, I can't spur myself on to do anything until there is a crap load to do and I'm so behind and overwhelmed that I have to jump into action and see some vast improvements quickly.

(Or maybe I'm just lazy.)

(Kinda like college, when I wouldn't do anything until the last minute. Only now it includes more diapers and less Ramen. Same amount of beer.)

Tonight when I was outside, I noticed our trash can, containing diapers and other SHIT, on its side. In the street.


Angie said...

I feel like this much of the time. And that is when Allen would suggest that I should probably clean the floors every day, as if I could do ONE more thing.

lisa said...

I thought it was just me. Thank God.

Many mornings I get up and Im like: "I have the whole day freeeeee" (imagine me putting my arms out to the side and spinning around a few times). And then. Then there is this big WHOOOOSH that comes through the house and papers start flying everywhere and I remember that I need diapers, the car needs gas, I need to pay Nathan's school, oh and I have a box to mail, oh crap and I have to email this person, oh, and I should call about those lab results , shit, what are we having for dinner, I should probably go pick something up, nah, lets just have waffles again for the second time this week, uggggh, Nathans uniform shirt is dirty so I need to throw a load in this morning, crap, the dryer has a load of towels, why is it that the dryer ALWAYS has shit in it....don't I ever finish the laundry? short answer- no, oh for the love- I really need to sweep up the cheerios all over the floor, probably should vacuum too....[then my head starts to implode]. Notice how there was no period in there? Yeah, thats because it feels like one big run on sentence in real life.

Then it starts all over the next day.

Swistle said...

I feel the same way. Buried. Scattered.

Jen said...

TOTALLY. You summed up how I feel almost perfectly. There is So Much to do. So much that I forget what the hell I'm supposed to be doing in my "free time" and end up surfing the internet instead.