Thursday, July 07, 2011

Being pecked to death by chickens

My good friend once told me that motherhood can best be likened to being pecked to death by chickens.

As I sit here on the second floor desperately trying to avoid detection by my lovely spawn, I hear "mommmmmmmyy! Where are you??????? Mommy?"

So there you go. No escape. They find you. Then they peck your eyes out. Then they poop in their underwear and bleed on the carpet and bathe their toads in your clean sink and then they whine. And fight. A lot.

Especially in the summer.

But here's the thing.

After they find you hiding in their room (it's the last place they will look!) they go and do something cute. Like this.

And then you feel horribly guilty about how you just were trying to escape them. Why would you want to escape those poor sweet darling little angels? You're the worst mom in the world, with the possible exception of Casey Anthony (good lawd!) So you put down your phone and you lay down on the floor and stick your head under their crib.....and catch a big whiff of a fresh one.

And there my friends, you have it.


Swistle said...

Excellent summary. I think I will go hide in a closet for awhile.

Andrea and Ben said...

Well put! I have been spending a lot of time on the toilet these days since Reid has proclaimed he is afraid of it :-).

Natalie said...

Love it. So true.

Angie said...

This is hilarious! I had missed it somehow!