I can't stop reading books about childbirth, specifically unmedicated childbirth. I started out thinking, "Oh, since it went too fast last time for an epidural, I should be prepared to not get one this time." I was so unprepared last time that it was traumatic. So, off I go on my happy way, reading Ina May Gaskin's Guide to Childbirth. And suddenly, she is convincing me. Big time. And now I'm considering moving to a commune in Tennessee to birth this baby au naturel on all fours in the woods.
Oh my GOD. WHAT AM I DOING OVER HERE?
I'm not moving to a commune. I was just joking. Ha ha.
But, wow. I had no idea about how all the high-tech medical interventions really work against labor's natural progress. And that fear and being in a scary environment (i.e. hospital) actually can make your labor go backwards. And that some OBs put arbitrary time limits on labor and if you aren't progressing fast enough for their made-up time schedule, they just start doing things like breaking your water and adding pitocin, which totally increase your C-section risk instead of just being patient and letting you eat a damn cheeseburger if you want one. Ina May would let me eat a cheeseburger. Oh, except she's a vegetarian. A garden burger, then.
But, I'm afraid to even put it into words that I am thinking about purposely going natural, because I'm not really sure I am. While I can't really remember the specific pain of labor, I do remember saying that you could cut my leg off and it wouldn't have hurt as badly as labor did. I was still asking for an epidural after she was out just to try to numb my memory of the pain. And, I just know that when someone comes in waving an epidural under my nose during a contraction, that I will likely jump at the chance to stop screaming like a slaughtered cow. So, I'm not putting it into words. I'm just thinking it into cyber-space and planning to see what happens!