Working Out. What's That?

Wow. I had forgotten all about it. When I first learned I was pregnant I planned to be one of those women who goes running at month 7. Gee! Look at how fit she is! And she's 8 months pregnant! I was enrolled in a yoga class before I knew I was pregnant. I kept going once I found out I was pregnant. Oh yes. I am going to really workout and eat healthfully while I'm pregnant! For a few weeks. Except for when I skipped the class because I was so tired I could hardly stay awake for the drive home from work. Then, I ordered some maternity workout videos from Amazon. I ordered two. I used each of them exactly once. Then, I plopped my pregnant ass down on any couch, chair or bed in sight and didn't do anything physical the rest of my pregnancy. Please pass the cookies!

How I spent the first trimester: Why am I awake?

Oh. I walked the dog. Like 5 times. And I got out of breath doing it. And, one time I took the stairs at work because the world's creepiest guy was waiting to get on the elevator and I didn't want to spent two awkward minutes avoiding eye contact with him.

Then, I started eating whatever I wanted to. My motto was: I'm pregnant! I am going to gain weight! So, why not enjoy it?

And I did, by God. I enjoyed every quarter pounder with cheese. Every day. I enjoyed waking up at 4 in the morning and eating half a jar of olives, a stick of string cheese, a granola bar, a banana, and 25 Chips Ahoy while researching pregnancy and childbirth on the Internet. That was fun.

How I spent the second trimester: Wait, did I wake up? What is this bulbous thing?

I just avoided looking at my thighs, or butt or ankles, or face. In Alaska in the winter its fairly easy to do that. You just keep covered from head to toe, so there isn't much staring at bare thighs in the mirror. I told myself, "I'll start working out again once the baby is born!"

The final four weeks of my pregnancy I really began to feel hideous. I felt hideous before, but ignored it. By the end it was unavoidable. I couldn't fit into any of my shoes, or my wedding ring, or my watch.... OR SOCKS!!! I never knew you could outgrow socks! And, I also had no idea you could have cellulite ON YOUR CALVES. Hello!

How I spent the third trimester: Oh my God.

Say it with me, people: "Celluite, Stretch Marks and Swelling! OH MY!"

I am not sure how much weight I gained because I quit weighing myself after 43 pounds ( A week and a half before I delivered).

Once Becca was born I was so hungry and exhausted and used to eating whatever I wanted that I still acted like I was pregnant. I scarfed down as much food as I could. I looked down at my saggy pouchy stomach and honestly thought, "Damn! I'm lookin' GOOD! I can fit in my socks again!" The thought of working out was enough to send me into a stunned semi-coma.

How I spent the "fourth" trimester: OH MY GOD!!

Slowly, though, I've been gaining back my energy, as well as the realization that I still look kind of pregnant. Though I've lost most of the pounds, my body is a totally different shape. I see pics of Britney Spears with her post baby belly in the tabloids with headings like "Baby Number Two?" Please, people. She just HAD A BABY! When your stomach is so big you can actually balance your giant bowl of macaroni and cheese on it, you might have a little bit of a pouch afterwards!

Now, its exactly three months since Becca was born. And I did my power yoga video today. Well, I attempted it at least. I didn't do the whole thing. But, DAMN! It actually felt good! Really, it did.

And, all of it was worth it for this:

Happy 3 Month Birthday, Baby!