Photo Shoot Gone Wrong

Its Bluebonnet time in Texas! Every strip of green turns bright blue and is covered in a sea of wildflowers! Check out the cover of the recent Texas Monthly. It has been years since I've been here for the best season of all. It is the time of year when the highways are just strips of asphalt winding through the blue. Oh. Except this year. Somehow, this year there are exactly 25 bluebonnets in the state of Texas. That's what happens when it decides to quit raining.

So, we went searching and found one pitiful patch of approximately 10 bluebonnets.

See?

Oh well. I figured some photography tricks would make it appear as though Becca were surrounded by flowers. I got down on her level and got her all situated in a patch of about 5 flowers. I started snapping pictures. AWESOME! She was being SO cute. She was looking at me. Looking at the flowers. The shot was framed perfectly. I finished the roll and then realized I had black and white film in my camera. Yes. Black and white. I am a genius.


So, it basically looks like she's laying in a patch of weeds. Oh well. No matter! I just loaded a color roll in my camera and continued on my merry way. Until poor Becca got crabby and hungry and tired.

No problem. I'm breastfeeding, so its easy to just feed her anywhere. Its one of the best parts of nursing. I don't have to have any bottles cleaned and prepped and warmed. Hooray.

I just plopped myself right down on the ground to feed her. I wrapped her up in the blanket she had been lying on because it was getting cool. And, Oh Look! Some beautiful pink wildflowers are right here. It will be a great photo op!

Until Mom yelled out, "OH NO!" I replied "Fire ants?"

"No. Poison Ivy."

So, this sweet picture of me nursing Becca in a field of wildflowers is actually a photo of me sitting in a patch of poison ivy. I think you can see a plant right off my left bicep in the photo.

You should have seen us jump into action. We loaded up all our stuff and ran to the car. We put all contaminated items in the trunk. We fled home and discussed who had been where and who had been contaminated. Oh no! I had been lying on the ground taking those stupid weed looking black and white photos. Oh no! I had wrapped Becca in the blanket that had been on the ground. Oh no! Mom had been digging around on the ground trying to find the lens cap. Then she had rubbed her eye! Mom was sitting in the car holding her hands palms up in her lap trying not to touch anything.

We got home and quickly went inside and stripped off all our clothes and started scrubbing in hot water and soap. I shoved poor Becca's arms under the sink and was trying to scrub them while trying not to bash her stomach too hard into the counter. As I was drawing a bath for Becca, Mom got on the Internet.

"Oh no! We were supposed to use COLD water and NO soap," she cries from the computer room. "Hot water opens your pores and lets more of the plant oil in!"

So, I made it a cool bath for Becca. I got her all bathed...cool water on every surface! Afterwards, (like a DAY afterwards) my mom told me she had read on the Internet that you aren't supposed to take a shower or bath because it can make the oil get on other places on your body.

Grrrrreat.

So, as if that were not enough action for one day, we decided to return to the same field at sunset to take some more photos. I went and bought some cool new "Ultra Color" film by Kodak. Professional photographers shoot around sunset because the light is so good. This time we took Dad with us to help us spot the poison ivy and stay out of it!

Unfortunately, I think it was a bit too late in the evening for Miss B. Either that, or she had poison ivy in her ears. Because, this was all she would do.



















Or this. And also? That UC film SUCKS. It looks all grainy and weird.













My mom and I were like the two most spastic people you can imagine trying to quickly get some photos before Becca had a total meltdown. I think this one can be used as my mug shot when I'm arrested for picking a bluebonnet.


























We took a bunch of photos. Most of them are terrible. Like this one here. I am looking SEXY in that pose and Becca is doing her cool ear thing again. I can't even believe I am posting that picture because its so hideous of me. But, since this photo essay is about things going wrong, I have to post it.



















Of course, if you take 90 photos (I am NOT exaggerating. I really did) in one day, you are bound to have some things go right. Even if it means you're going to have poison ivy in your eye later on. So, here are some of the better shots. But they are still very short on bluebonnets!

P.S. We didn't get any poison ivy.

P.P.S. I think the formatting gone wrong in this post just further illustrates my point. Don't you?