Speaking of hairspray.....I dragged John to see Hairspray this weekend (John's dad and Jane are back in town and graciously offering to babysit! WOO HOOO!) and my favorite character was Michelle's Velma--the evil, awful station manager. She played that role so well. It got me to thinking that I've pretty much loved any movie starring MP. She is a rare combination of a flawless beauty and someone who can sing and act too.
On the topic of singing--I am doing something very wrong. I can't tell what it is, but my throat hurts while I sing and I'm hoarse afterwards. That is bad. Bad, fad form. Terrible. And, I cannot figure out why. It could be as small as me sticking my chin out, not relaxing my upper lip, or lifting my shoulders when I breathe. But, no amount of watching myself sing in the mirror is going to solve that. I need a voice teacher. I don't think I have time, as my audition is on Tuesday! Gah. Maybe I'll just need to do a little more acting to cover it up! Hello? Michelle Pfeiffer? Can you come teach me how to act? And also how to apply liquid eyeliner like you do?
I had an awesome day today--John and Jane watched Becca (again) while I went shopping all alone. Shopping! Like, where you try on clothes without saying, "Mommy's almost done. Just let her try on one more pair of jeans. Don't cry. Oh no. NO NO NO! Do NOT pour your juice on the fancy clothes. NO! We are LEAVING, do you hear me?" It was great. I went to Ann Taylor LOFT for the first time and loved it. I ended up with a pair of jeans and two fall/winter shirts. Bring on the cooler temps!
I am feeling all better, thankyouverymuch, but Canyon is another, horrible story entirely. She has peed on our stairs at least four times in the last few days. Last night I was up at 3 a.m. cleaning up yet another piss spot. She hasn't had an accident inside our house since....probably....2002. She keeps drinking and drinking and drinking and has to go outside about every half hour. I think she might actually have the UTI or something. I am calling the vet tomorrow, because shit ain't right up in here. And I'm running out of paper towels.
One Year Later
2 weeks ago
11 comments:
First!
You have to love cleaning anything that comes out of the dogs behind at any time of the day especially at 3am. I hope it gets better. Good luck with the singing. If it doesn't include a nursery rhyme, I am no good at helping you with your singing.
~And I know God created grandparents for the sanity of moms~ Enjoy them while they are at your house.
Yappy, this has nothing to do with your blog. I need to talk with Brutus Buckeye
Dear Brutus,
I'm depressed. Before I get into all that, let me first congratulate you on your Ohio State victory. I'm sure you feel great satisfaction from your job as a highly valued mascot. We all know how important it is for us mascots to be out in the crowd, cheering and keeping that spirit up through thick and thin. Here's why I'm feeling so blue. For 62 years now, my Longhorn ancestors have been loyal and steadfast carriers of The University of Texas pride. We have paid the ultimate sacrifice – castration - to serve our college. So… last Saturday night we had our football season opener against Arkansas State, a team over which we were favored to win by 40 points. Where was I? Under the bleachers. Out of sight. Might as well be home. Alone. Left out. Sad.
Greedy, greedy UT has installed more and more seating in the football stadium and they have finally done it! They have taken away my football field pasture. There is no longer any room for me. None. I am a cast-off. The team played horribly and stupidly on Saturday – duh. What do you expect when Bevo is shunned? They practically lost the game and I'm telling you, Brutus, if UT had played Ohio State we would have been slaughtered. (I hate that word.) We would have lost 70 – 0. Heck, we might have lost 100 – 0. It doesn't matter… Lord only knows how UT managed to win at all. At some point, in the third quarter, they let me have just a little peek at the field – and bam – UT scored. I'm no computer whiz -I'm just a steer - but even I know about the study on the UT Department of Economics Website that proves that when Bevo (me!) is at a game, Texas scores more points. Don't those athletic egomaniacs have any academic sense? The study was done at their own university for Pete's sake. Check it out yourself: http://www.utexas.edu/cola/depts/economics/news/current/undergrad_economics/
Why are they shooting themselves in the foot by taking me away from my home? More fans are in the stadium now, but at what cost??
Brutus, are you a boy or a girl? I am neither. Brutus – what should I do? I'm too young to throw myself in front of a tractor, but it has crossed my mind. Do you think I could come up to Ohio and see you? Maybe I could help you in some small way… (Move over Beavis & Butthead, we could be Brutus & Bevo. What a team!) I've been thinking a lot about Chief Illiniwek from the University of Illinois. They let him go, too. No longer can he perform the amazing Illini tribe's dance that brings the whole state of Illinois to its feet in awe and appreciation. He's gone. Another mascot pushed aside - he at the whim of some bureaucratic idiots. You can read about him here: http://www.uillinois.edu/chief/
I bet he needs a friend. Well,my tears are messing up the keyboard. Thanks for listening, Brutus, old friend. Best of everything in the coming weeks. Be grateful that you are a revered mascot, Brutus Buckeye. And to think that once I thought you were but a lowly nut.
Despondently, Bevo
P.S. There were grackles on the field - how humiliating! No room for Bevo, but plenty of room for grackles. Guess they should be called the UT grackles.
Poor, poor Bevo. I can only imagine what my parents had to say about that at the game!
P.S. Canyon pissed on the living room rug today after I covered her usual pissing stairs with towels and newspapers.
Bevo, as an Illionian by birth, I was very sad to hear of the Chief's departure. He is a symbol of Illinois. I am very sad.
Glad you were able to have some time to go out shopping by yourself! There is NOTHING I dread more than taking a toddler out shopping with me. It sucks and takes the fun out of it completely. I start pulling my hair out before we even get there because I just know what the outcome is going to be. You'll have to show us pics. of your fall wardrobe!
Poor Canyon! Is the funk on her face better at least?
And, Bevo, Go ASU!
Definitely sounds like a UTI. Roxy had one once, it went about the exact same way. Good luck catching her pee for them to sample, that is the most ridiculous part!
Glad you got to shop alone. I personally don't know any different, but love my shopping experiences, so I imagine with kids is a whole different issue. Yeah, Katie shops alone!!!
My dear Bevo,
My sympathy for you overfloweth. How DARE UT shun you in this way??? I had no idea. It's terrible, just terrible!!!
I don't know what the fans in The Horseshoe would do if I were cast out of the stadium...probably stone the field with the buckeyes that they wear around their necks.
Have you thought, perhaps, of getting all of the fans together to throw hay onto the field?
Oh, dear Bevo, I hope you find greener pastures!
Your pal,
Brutus
ps. God bless Appalacian State. Gonna go buy myself an App State t-shirt, I yam.
Thank you, Brutus. I knew you would feel my pain. Greener pastures...ahhhh. I would take ANY pasture on the football field, but all that's left is the end zone.
Guess the folks who planned the stadium renovations forgot about me.
Your dejected friend,
Bevo
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