Wednesday, February 11, 2009


Holy SHIT, people. I am at the end of my rope over here with the fevers and the potty-training that is going BACK-ASS-WARDS and fast. I realize this is a broken record, but my good mood is now gone and this is all that is swirling in my head, continually. So, I might as well just whine to you because poor John deserves a break from listening to me bitch and moan. I want to just curl up and sleep for a few months.

I honestly feel like my sanity is being held together by one tiny, teeny little fraying thread. Having a sick kid completely does me in. I know it isn't rational. I know my kids will get sick. But I tend to just flip out everytime it happens. Becca's fever was down then up, then down, then up. She was acting fine, then sick, then fine, then sick. So, my moods have been swinging wildly along with her.

The whole family went on a long walk today, since it was very warm and springlike, and it was during a time when Becca was acting much better. It was so nice to be outside, but I was worried about overdoing it with Becca. I felt worn out as well. And I fell into the deepest-sleep nap I've ever taken and woke up to feel the start of a sinus headache, sore throat combo.

Our babysitter cancelled tonight because she is barfing. Oh Baby Jesus don't let that migrate up in here.

And, on top of all that, Becca is now just willfully going potty in her underwear. She doesn't CARE when we have to throw away her favorite underwear. She doesn't care about presents I display for her when she uses the potty. In fact, she wants to hide those presents and not even look at them. She doesn't care when I ask her to help clean up her messes. She doesn't mind sitting in it. She isn't bothered by any of it. The only thing that really bothers her is the thought of going on the potty.

But the thing is, I am getting effing SICK of cleaning her up multiple times a day, multiple baths a day, changing her sheets (sometimes TWICE a day). Especially because she KNOWS what she is doing. These aren't "accidents" these are flat out refusals. I can get past the bed-wetting. Totally. But the number 2 just straight up in her pants while refusing to even sit on the potty? What is the DEAL? She told John tonight that "'Lambie" (her favorite stuffed animal) told her to go in her underwear.

She keeps her bed dry at night about every other night. She is getting much better with peeing on the potty and just goes by herself now when she needs to (which is a MASSIVE improvement over how it has been the last year where she pee-pee dances until you finally coerce her to sit on the potty). So, she is getting better there.

But the rest of it is sucking my will to live. I am stuck in a perpetual hamster wheel of frustration and bodily fluids. I am the mole. And I'm fed up with that fucking mallet. Although, it does explain my headache.

So. Help. What do we do? Just go back to pull-ups? It just doesn't seem right, when she has the control (she can hold it for WAY longer than you would think humanly possible) and the knowledge to be fully potty trained? Do I just need to be patient and keep going with the underwear-only thing? Or do I need to just regress along with her, buy more diapers and try again when she is older? People say you won't have a kid still doing this when they go to kindergarten. But, ummm.....they might be wrong.


Lost in Space said...

Danger Will Robinson

Erin said...

Oh honey! I FEEL for you. If I were you (and we have very similar potty issues here), I'd go back to pull ups for a while. Just act like you don't care any more, and maybe the peer pressure (isn't she still going to preschool?) will get to her eventually.

But I don't really have a clue. We're having big time potty FAIL at our house.

I hope the quieting brain visualization keeps working for you.

bluedaisy said...

Hello! I am visiting from MoMommy. I have to give you ALOT of credit for hanging in with the potty training- we haven't really started over here but are testing the (potty) waters. I think I agree that taking a step back might be a good idea- if for no other reason, just to give yourself a chance to regroup a bit. I know my kids LIVE to get me all worked up-and they do a great job at it. I wish I had better advice but I do wish you much luck!

Anonymous said...


The Quinn Report said...

I say don't back up and keep pressing forward with her! At least she is doing SOMETHING and showing some sort of interest (even if it is minor.)

Just HANG IN THERE....I swear to you just one day ( and most likely out of the clear blue), she'll just shit on the potty and never turn back! Salem did exactly that and we're finally over the hurdle!

Maybe next time your around Tracy's girls, encourage them to tell Becca how big they are by going dookie in the potty! I know having Salem around our older neighbors kiddos helped out tremendously!

Natalie said...

Becca's illness sounds like Liv's last week. It sucked. Actually, Liv had a headache and pointed to where it hurt at the back of her neck. Matt wanted me to bring her in to be tested for meningitis. I refrained b/c her fever went down nicely w/Motrin. Anyway. It's hell.

My husband is FURIOUS that Lila, our 27-month-old is not toilet trained. Olivia was 90% trained at this point. But, I remind him that each child is different and I'm not, in the least bit, concerned. It will come. This morning, in fact, she woke up screaming that she had to pee. Most of time, however, she screams when I put her on. So, it'll come. I usually back-track for 1/2-one week when we have issues and then try again. Lila was not interested in the toilet, at all, while she was sick last week and the week before. I'll email you what we use for toilet training. Though, like most, you'll probaby laugh...

Anonymous said...

Not being potty trained under three years old is FINE! After three, most kids should be trained. I can see why you are pissed with Becca NOW. Natalie, you husband is just wrong! You started TOO early.

Natalie said...

Anonymous, you are right - my husband is wrong to be upset. But, he knows my three sisters and I were trained by 18-months (how, I don't know - but, it' even in our baby books and I remember my baby sister's training. We were cloth diapered babies and that may have had something to do w/it). My husband also trained very young (by age two). She he thinks there is a standard our kids should meet.

Olivia, my oldest, trained herself, for the most part. I was 9-months pregnant when she started and put no effort into it except putting her on the toilet when she asked. She was just under 2.5 years when she finished. She was very very easy. I just got lucky.

My youngest just likes to copy her older sister. I do nothing to encourage training. That's why my husband is upset - I do no more than put her on when she asks and, once or twice a week, I offer. The past two weeks, she screams no. So, despite my husband's protests, I have left well enough alone. This morning, she got up screaming, "I have to pee on the potty! Mommy, come get me." She sat on the toilet - but nothing came out. No biggie.

Angie said...

I would probably put her back in pull ups or just diapers, because I would prefer to clean diapers than an entire house. Plus, then she won't be getting as much of a reaction from you, maybe she'll want to do it later on her own. However, I have no idea what would work, every kid is different and all that blah, blah, blah.

Jen said...

Ugh. I am reading through these comments hoping for some gem of an answer (just in case one of my kids does the same thing someday!). I think that Shayne had a similar problem with Reagan at one point and Reagan asked to be put back in pullups. Shayne refused, and somehow they got through it...

I don't have an answer for you, though, except maybe to find her "hot buttons" and use that against her. For Kate, she would have a fit if I took away her bunny, blanket, or Sleeping Beauty would Becca react if you took something away from her until she earned them back? Good luck! And if it gets too difficult, returning to pullups is unlikely to cause irrepairable (?) damage.