Last night the wind was just howling against the house. It sounded like it was hailing. It sounded like a violent snowstorm. This morning, John came back into the bedroom after getting up at 4 a.m. for his flight and said, "My flight's been cancelled," and got back into bed. I drifted back to sleep happily, glad he was still here.
I woke up at 6 to feed Andrew and to give Becca some more Motrin, but John wasn't in the bed. I figured he was already up and showered for the day so he must be downstairs. But, when I went downstairs I couldn't find him. Then I realized his car was gone. And, there was only about 2 inches of snow around here.
Turns out I'd dreamed it. (Now who is hallucinating?) He was already at the airport. And, by the way, his flight WAS cancelled, but he was put on another one. Damn.
Just in case I was still thinking I'd make it to Texas, John's car blew up on his drive to work. Because, of course it did. Of course. Something made a loud popping sound and now his car sounds like a motorcycle. He needs me to meet him at the auto repair place tomorrow night (or possibly to pick him up the side of the road if the car doesn't make it). So, hi everyone in Texas! See you sometime! Sometime when shit isn't all falling apart!
It is 7 a.m. and I am up eating leftover shepherd's pie for breakfast. It is the first time I've felt hungry in 24 hours and I want some real food. I get so worked up when Becca is sick that I don't feel like eating. Becca is reading in her bed. She still has a 103 temperature at the end of a Motrin cycle. She isn't doing the weird shaking stuff anymore (Thank the baby Jesus). Now she just seems like a normal, blah sick kid. Her cough has deepened and moved into her chest. And, weirdly, that makes me feel better. Because I am pretty sure the fever is from a respiratory virus or something. I am no longer worried that it is some freak illness. I'm still going to call the doctor when the office opens (48 more minutes!)Your comments made me feel SO much better about myself and my tendency to freak out when my kids are sick. Also, you made me realize that I need to just CALL the doctor and stop worrying about whether to call the doctor. That is so dumb. I just know I have that tendency to overreact, so I try to counter it by not calling. And that just exacerbates my overreaction and it is a vicious cycle. New motto: Break the Cycle. Call the Doctor.
Now I'm just taking bets with myself on whether the doctor's office will shut down for the day because (gasp!) it snowed. (Current bet: YES!)
7 hours ago